Im crushed. so crushed.
***
Bao Hu Se Instrumental

memories within.
; October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006

---

gastric pain is haunting me once again.

the title says it all. jus ate med. time for bed. nites all.
-off to bed-

lost ;
11:49 PM

finishing.

now is 4.01am. still watching zhen ming tian nu. last 3 disc. + the current 1. and still afking from maple. still hunting wu sun for sp. haha. nth much to blog. jus feel like blogging u see. celeb ken's bday today. smashed flour + egg + water on his face. part of sp's idea and mine. haha. combined together = ken's bday smash.
watching the part where ya wei asked hebe (xiao rou) for a dinner. full of roses. seeing hebe's happy face, i feel so happy too. im in love! with her. Lol. jus jk. -.-
dun intend to slp tonite. jus feel like finishing the show and hunt the wu sun for sp till class starts. will be like a dead pig for the 3 hrs of lecture + tutorial i guess. haha. k la. nth much to say also. back to the show
-hebe here i come-

lost ;
3:58 AM

---

woohoOo

wahaha. went to bugis den heeren to shop for kenneth's pressie jus now. went with sp. den after spending money on ken's pressie, im left with enough money to buy Zhen Ming Tian Nu's vcd. no prize for guessing. its right beside me now!! wahaha. dun wan lend anyone. so dun bother to ask. =X lending sp as a form of ty as she acc me today to shop for ken's pressie. muahaha. and wad's next? im going to shower and time to watch ZMTN. =)
cya guys.
-off to shower-

lost ;
11:31 PM

---

funny; guilty

2 stories happened this few days.
-1st- was working on fri. so does sp. my class ended at 12 so she asked me to acc her to gems class. finished her gems at 2.15. den the funny thing was, we were returning to fc5. and she said she wanna go toilet. wasnt familiar with the toilet at T1. so when she went in to the right door, i thought the left door was the guy's toilet. went in without opening my eyes. when i went in, was abit blur and din notice much. but i realise how come dun haf guy toilet de structure de. i went inside a cubicle and pee. later, i heard ger's voice. omg. im inside a female toilet !!!! hahaha.. so paiseh. called sp for help. ask her help me see if anyone's outside b4 i went out. laughed our way to fc5. omg. =X so bloody paiseh.
-2nd- guilty.
jw, im really sry. din know u actually had such a heavy crush on me. my fault. shld not agree to be with u when my heart has her. i know i hurt u alot. its my damn bloody fault. but the day we went out, hold hands, all my mind has, was her, her and her. din know how to break it to u, in the end, u msged me instead. really sry for causing u hurt. i nv wanted to. my fault at not knowing how to handle it. but wad's gd abt me? 4get me bah. im jus nth but a bastard. a jerk. u deserve someone better. i've let u down. really sorry. know it cant help much. but hope time will heal ur wounds.
as for today, going down for soccer at 4 later. and after that, dinner. and after that, pfp case study. omg. jialat la. ok la. go back maple help sp hunt wu sun liao.
-gone-

lost ;
3:17 PM

---

Zhen Ming Tian Nu

woohoo. yest din go out as planned. so headed home after class. watched zhen ming tian nu's 1st epi. it rox man. hebe is a policewoman who jus wanna uphold justice. selina a model. ella a hardworking poor ger who goes around earning money. all are born on the same day - valentine's day.
think im gonna get their vcd/dvd. im mad about them. the song Xing Guang rox too man. hehe. in other words, S.H.E rox. am in class now. practical lesson for 3 1/2 hrs. omg man. im freezing now. typing so slowly now. doing a bouncing teapot with C++. tmd. so hard. lolz. wan play dota also cannot -.-. missed alot of lessons liao. kena warned le. so fast sia -.-. broke another record again. =/
bought another pack of ciggys jus now. kena confiscated by sp. =/ but was returned to me later on. wahaha. =P hmm. working dinner later on. bored bored. sure busy tonite. and its freezing cold. how am i gonna endure?! =[
think i wanna go out and get something to eat liao. so hungry. sensing that my gastric could be back to haunt me if i dun do something soon.
bb. - gone-

lost ;
10:08 AM

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a promise that was nv fulfilled

we had arguments over who was gonna go. initially it was him who was gonna go with u. 2 weeks b4 the thing. but jus 3 days b4 that, i knew i could nv be so generous as to let other guy go with u. i told u i wanted to go with u. i knew then, ur heart already has a choice. that is to go with me. we met at my hse, thinking of ways to break the news to him, that u were going with me. in the end, he agreed and was extremely disappointed.
the day had come. we dressed up and made our way to the destination. i knew it was the day where u'd be very very happy. was really looking forward to it.
there we are, at the indoor stadium. was flooded by fans of jay chou. yes. i was gonna watch the concert with u. though the seats are not together, we hope we'd be able to find a seat together. we went in, seated down with me sitting in front while u sat jus right behind me. in the end, the people on my side was surprisingly absent. so i asked u down to seat with me.
the concert was gonna start and i can sense that u were very very excited. Yi Fu Zhi Ming was the 1st song and up came jay. i held ur hand and i could almost feel ur happiness. nv had i felt so happy with u b4. as time passed, the ending was approaching. songs like Jie Kou, Wa Jie, Ge Qian, Qi Li Xiang were the songs that sounds so fantastic. so soothing to the ear probably because they were my fav songs. singing along with jay, i can see u so happy. i seldom see u sing.
everything has an ending. and so does the jay concert. everything ended and now we have to make our way back.
this is the part. i made a promise to u. 2 years later. jay promised to come back to singapore to start another concert. a promise i made. to bring u back again. without much controversy. 2 years later. but it was a promise that was meant not to be fulfilled. cos u left me. u wanted to. nv had the thought to stay by my side. so full of regrets. really wanna fulfil my promise. but now the chance is gone. not even hope.
now, im in class. but these memories jus leaves me stranded in a world of nobody. dunno wad im thinking but jus so lost in class. getting from bad to worse. gonna get something to eat. though break is at 1. jus so hungry. -gone-

lost ;
11:46 AM

---

the moment

skipped a few lesson to send nyoman off. for those who dunno, nyoman is our colleague at blue ginger. he's from bali and was there for attachment. yea. time for him to return to his homeland. but we'll miss him. alot. so fun working with him and this thing abt fucking the goat and other animals. yea. jus havin fun so no offence to those animal lovers. he left yest. the flight was at 4.40pm. such a great fren he is, often help us out.
ken, me, jean and shikai. we were the ones who sent nyoman off. while we approached the departure gate, nyoman wanted a photo of us. we obliged. and as he entered the gate, i believe tears was gonna roll down sooner. and as we expected, we caught him wiping his eyes when he went in. the 4 of us standing outside, all felt so sad. but we did make a decision. to go bali to visit him. provided i can escape from my sch schedule, i'm going for sure. jus hours after he left, while i was playing maple, i suddenly missed him. miss his "go fuck the goat". that explains my msn nick.
and as we prepare for a new attachment to come in, nyoman would still be in our memories. whereever we go together, had fun together. all in our hearts. but of cos, dun mean that once new attachment comes in, we'll 4get abt nyoman. he'll always be in our heart. or at least my heart. a great soccer buddy as well. im gonna miss him. badly. =[
gd bye my fren. we'll be in bali somewhere in the future. and hope ur plans of returning to singapore will come true.
bloggy again. doing practical. -gone-

lost ;
10:59 AM

---

lolz . check this out .

hmm. been busy this few days. 1st on fri, worked D and was kinda busy. went to partyworld again. -.-"! den went back and worked L and D on sat. was suppose to work L only but jon wanted someone to replace him so i replaced. since i dun wish to go home, so i gladly do so. but head was spinning towards the end of work and stupid stupid table 10. the ladies even stayed till 11pm. omg. made us wait for them.
but the funny part was when me, kenneth and royston was at the 2nd floor. muahaha. kenneth opted to open the wine and guess wad, when he was pulling the cork out with the wine opener, i heard a pop sound and the next thing i heard was :
ken : "sorry sir, i think i screw up "UR" coRk"
LOL. me and royston was like standing somewhere behind him. and omg. well. the ur was "UR" because ken said he said THE CORK. not UR CORK. wahahahahaa. nevertheless, it was damn funny. and the ang moh dun understand. if i was the one that hear ken says this, i'd laugh till i collapse. damn funny man. omg.
as for today. soccer again. and went to esplanade and bugis with nyoman and co. nyoman's last day in sg and he wanted to take some pictures so we all acc him along. went to crystal jade for dinner and damn. alex and nyoman was so funny. and jean use her digi cam to take a video of their conversation and we laugh like mad. cos alex was doing this duck action and its so bloody funny. everyone jus cant stop laughing. and also, i look like a nerd when nyoman recorded his own intro video. he intro us, the food and wad he does there. and omg. i was beside him, keep looking at him. and they laughed at me for being like a nerd. =/
thats roughly wad i've been doing nowadays. slpy now.
ding dong
eyes closing. toot toot toot toot ~
ding dong
next stop: my bed.

blog again. ciaoz

lost ;
1:43 AM

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i've woke up

2 days ago, it wasnt a nite for me. i popped pills and ended up camping in the toilet for 1 1/2 hr. stupid me. yea. i know. i've finally woke up. fuck this shit. why am i doing all this shit for someone who doesnt give a fuck to me and leaves me for dead. all she care is other guys and not me. and wad the hell am i doing here popping pills and crying my heart out? and she might be enjoying herself at that particular moment with another guy. reasons given for not meeting me is jus as crap as rubbish in the rubbish dump. im stupid. for harbouring hopes of seeing her again. it jus crashes. right in front of me. it's over. i shld be starting a new chap in my life. in fact i've found the topic of my new chapter but the thing is, i've not got an ending for my previous chap. perhaps to her, it's an ending. but to me, it nv was. but mayb it's wishful thinking of my part. regrets linger around me. the pain i inflicted to myself. brought me nth but scars. waking up every morning seems to be a torture to me. but i knew i had to go on.
yest seem to be better for me. it seems as though im really starting a new chap. met a ger - jiawen - in my gems class. strangely, its the 1st time i actually communicated so well with a student i dunno at all. not to mention, a ger. its jus so naturally that we had topics to talk about and yea, im kinda shock about it myself too. but nevertheless, it was really nice to talk to her for the whole gems class becos we were supposed to be debating? crap. i hate to debate it formally. becos the best way would be to debate it my way. using vulgarities. =X
as for today. nth much but boring classes. aint got mood to study anyway. jus following blindly. tml working dinner. guess it'll be a busy day. am bracing myself for the challenge. haha. crap la.
kahlun kahlun. wake up wake up. time for ciggy. =X
blog again. ciaoz

lost ;
12:00 PM

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stepping in knowing there's no result

in sch lab.. as usual.. working tml dinner, fri dinner and sat lunch.. had a kinda hard time to sch today morning as i was abit of limping. haha. well. been thinking thru.
why did i continue walking forward knowing that it's gonna be a dead end in front. i knew that i'd still reach that dead end in time to come. but i still chose to go forward. is this wad they call "love is blind" ? i hope not. i'm so blinded. i hate it. it makes me see things so blurly. how i wish i can jus be a cold blooded animal. or a human if u like.
i thought after everything ended between me and yl, i'll be fine. but i never expected more troubles to follow. 1st by my long time fren. and now, another 1. why is my life so screwed? i jus hate my life so much.
having a match on wed. against chalk's team. according to jeremy. wonder if we'll get fly plane again anot. but anyway, i strained my hamstring. so not gonna put too much emphasis on that game. doesnt mean much to me anyway. but of cos, dun be mistaken. i'll still put in 100% commitment if im playing. becos soccer is my life. yea i love soccer and nothing else. (if only that's the truth). perhaps the best way out for me now is to deceive myself, deceive everyone. including u.
go off le. ciaoz

lost ;
2:57 PM

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i've made up my mind.

a normal sunday routine yet again. soccer followed by lunch and den back to home. sprained my big toe while playing soccer. endured it till the end of game. took off shoe den discovered i cannot walk properly. jialat. wed got match somemore. wonder if i'll recover by then anot. anyway. discover that i really no stamina. damn. maybe its time to take out some time to go jogging.
-----------------------------------------------
as a soccer player, you'd hate to sit on the bench as a substitute. the same goes for me. same goes for life. who'd wanna be a substitute? nobody. simple. because u get a feeling that u r unwanted at times. only wanted when u r a goal down or because a 1st team player is injured. this kind of uncertainty feeling, is making me going mad. i wanna feel wanted. im only human. nevertheless, in order to make me feel wanted, some ppl jus gimme looks of sympathies. i hate it. u can say im stubborn, self centered, whatever. i hate ppl to sympathise with me. take it as im unreasonable. but i jus simply hate it. i dun wanna be appreciated only when i look so pitiful. if thats the case, i rather not wan ppl to appreciate my presence.
now i've made up my mind. nvm wad it is. but at least i've got a decision.
-----------------------------------------------
off to gaming. am really bored now.
ciaoz

lost ;
8:37 PM

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when things turn awry ; i shld disappear

yest was my sis bday. celebrated with her and asked some of my frens over for a mini party. had great fun and decided to go KTV after that. the whole grp of us ( me, ken, hy, sL, wendy, jean ) met elaine at orchard's partyworld. sang pretty happily though i must say all jay's songs make me kinda no mood. becos i use to sing jay's songs to her. memories jus run thru my mind again and again. made me smoke 12 ciggs or less? ard there. a record nth to be proud of.
den comes the part where the whole grp stays till 6am when smth happened. i even walk in the rain and ended up shivering like F***. im jus nth but trouble? i dunno why. sometimes i feel that im jus at the wrong place at the wrong time. reached home at ard 7am. still shivering after my shower and jus stone at my bed.
after all that happened to me recently, i feel i shld jus disappear from everyone's sights. nothing much to stay for. how gd it'd be if in the past, i had the courage to jus end everything. i did try but i failed. becos of her, i always ended my thoughts. when im with her, she often make me feel worthless. but even now with my frens, i feel so too. i dunno why. am i really that worthless? i dunno. hate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. how much i hope i'd be in the right place at the right time. this jus sucks. hate this feeling, hate my life, hate myself. wad else do i haf to say?
nvm abt the unhappy things. going off any min to suntec. to celebrate jj's bday. another occasion to be happy. hope i wun be at the wrong place at the wrong time again. becos this is the last thing i'd ever wanted. blog again.
-off to suntec-

lost ;
4:02 PM

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shag-gezation ; morning turn off

tired tired tired. totally shagged. yest work Dinner in place of kenneth. but the bad thing was, only 4 staff work! to make it worst, 1st and 2nd floor were occupied. and close to full hse. in fact, the 1st lvl was full.
me, jasper, letty and nyoman. the 4 survivors. wahaha. at the beginning we din expect to be full hse and it was raining. so we thought it'd not be a busy day yest. but who knows, everyone was walking in ! omg.
oh well. i did test my limits yest. my back ache is giving me probs again. probably because im too busy. and this morning when i woke up, man oh man, it was aching like hell. tmd. and today got function i think. omg. time for lord of hell to pick me up. hahahaha! =X (jus being lame)
not gonna elaborate more on the sadded side. hate to talk about it. am in practical lesson now. its freezing like hell and im trembling. 4got to bring along my jacket and now i haf to suffer! =[
anyway. missed my 1st class today. a lecture i suppose. really cant get up even though i was up at 8+am. ends lesson at 4.30pm today and i thnk i'd be going down str to bg after sch. may wait for kenneth but he ends at 5.30pm. wondering wad shld i do during the 1 hr break. =/
oh yea. this morning. i saw a pervertic uncle? was at jurong east mrt's platform. i was going towards dover when i saw this uncle right in front of me. but instead of waiting like most of us do, he did smth "spectacular". he 1st spat onto the tracks. den he moved to his left a little and look to his right. on his right is this missy. a nurse i guess. he was looking at the nurse's breast. it was so obvious! and 4get it if he's jus looking at it for a moment. but the thing was, he looked at her from toe to head, head to toe, and concentrated on her breast area for quite some time! omg !!!! den i thought its over. but he went further down the left, did the same thing to another girl ! i was so turned off and it totally spoils my morning. how could such an UNCLE do such things in public? it's bad enuff to peek at breasts. imagine he looked at her from head to toe as if he's imagining doing *** with those girls. pervertic ass.
nvm abt that. talking abt it turns me off. omg. couldn't believe it man. sharks!
grrr. well. dunno why my head is itching like hell today. i did bathe though! =[ well. i guess i'll be logging off 1st le. blog again bah.
ciaoz

lost ;
11:32 AM

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testing limits

yea. have 5 more mins to blog b4 i actually travel to bg to work. yea im not suppose to work tonite as the shift belongs to kenneth. but he feels abit tired and feeling abit unwell so i opted to replace him. kinda gei kiang cos my gastric haven really recover. yest nite had a kinda painful experience cos of my gastric problems and yea, im suppose to rest. but now, all i wanna do is to work and earn money to help lessen the burden my parents are carrying cos we're moving house. everything's gotta use money. that's the way life goes.
well. today's sch was kinda ok. attended gems which i pon last week. this modules isnt that bad. at least it doesnt make me yawn and wanna slp the moment class starts. haha. well well. not bad la. using logic to argue. hmmm. yea. working tml dinner also. got a function i heard.
hmmm. fri is my sister's bday. dun really know wad to buy for her but i guess i'll jus get her a tigger bear. woo. tigger. reminds me of someone. haha. well well. den sat working again so cant celebrate jinjing's bday. so most prob, provided she's free, i'll bring her out on sunday lo. dun be mistaken though. its not a date =X haha. well. i think too much lo. hahahahaha.
haiz. time for work. time to prepare. will blog tonite or tml. cya guys.

=[

lost ;
5:01 PM

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i'm fine. really.

the past few nites wasnt gd ones for me. having nightmares and quarrels. yea. bad way to end our relationship. but i really did not lie to her. but she jus refuse to trust me. but well. thats the way it's always been. had she listened to me, she'd not have got into troubles.
but it's over. had a hard time to sch as i carry an injury with me. yea i admit. got it while quarrelling with her. foolish? mayb. but wad's done is already done. and now im bearing the consequence. im not gonna say till like everything is her fault. i have my fault. i kept her by my side when i'm suppose to let her go. that's why things turned out this way. i'd hoped that we'd end up as frens at least. but i know i can nv do it for the time being at least.

yest.

went back to bg to collect pay and went to bugis to shop for fren's pressie. couldn't stand the pain on my back but i bear with it. am gonna get scolded if missy elaine see this. =X sometimes really hoped that i'd become crippled? then i'd be taken care of. but i know that i'll become a burden instead. so wad am i thinking of? im mad.
ciggy updates : yest had ard 6 sticks? i guess it's gonna get worse today. becos of so many things happening.

today.

am in class now. doing directX programming using C language. (C++). was late for half an hour so im kinda lagging behind. totally lost and worst still, the lecturer is an ang moh. seriously, i feel like quitting sch and work the hell out of me. am bloody bored in this class and totally slacking. no mood for studying. only mood for working and having fun.

well. miss my bg colleagues. miss marmie. miss crappin with alan. fooling ard with alex and so on. feel like getting to work immediately. darn.

i guess i'll be back to isolation mode. seriously. though im typing so much now, but i feel like locking myself up in a room. but i know at least someone wun allow that. nvm who will that be. the most impt thing is that i really wish to be left alone at times.
so guys. jus in case i explode, pls forgive me.

anyway. everything's over. i jus hope things can finally change for the better. i hope all my injuries will heal.
but trust me. i'll nv heal. becos of u, i found smth in my life. but to lose that smth is nv gonna be easy. to u im nothing. but to me u r everything. but i know, someday, i'm gonna lose "everything". yes that day has come. so jus a few words for u if u do read my post. take good care. and be happy always. dun do stupid things.

zhao le. bb.

lost ;
10:12 AM

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a song that rocks me by jay & lara

珊瑚海
词：方文山　曲：周杰伦
男：海平面远方开始阴霾 悲伤要怎么平静纯白 我的脸上始终挟带 淹没浅浅的无奈 女：你用唇语说你要离开
男：心不在
男女：她能不顾身般留下来
男女：汹涌潮水 你一定明白 不是浪而是泪海
男：转身离开 认真说不出来
女：你有话说不出来
男女：海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
男女：我们的爱 争议一直存在
女：回不来
男：永久真爱 竟累积成伤害
女：等待经历几次伤害
男女：转身离开 分手说不出来
男女：蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
男：当初彼此 不够成熟坦白
女：你有我的 不够成熟坦白
女：不应该
男女：热情不在 笑容勉强不来
男女：爱深埋珊瑚海
男：毁坏的沙雕如何重来 有裂痕的爱怎么重爱 只是一切 结束太快 你说你无法释怀 女：贝壳里隐藏什么期待
男：等花儿开
男女：我们也已经无心再猜
女男：脸上海风 咸咸的爱 尝不出还有未来
男：转身离开 认真说不出来
女：你有话说不出来
男女：海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
男女：我们的爱 争议一直存在
女：回不来
男：永久真爱 竟累积成伤害
女：等待经历几次伤害
男女：转身离开 分手说不出来
男女：蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
男：当初彼此 不够成熟坦白
女：你有我的 不够成熟坦白
女：不应该
男：热情不在 笑容勉强不来
女：你的笑容勉强不来
男女：爱深埋珊瑚海

Well. The title is Shan Hu Hai ( Coral Sea ) . for those who dunno this song, it's from jay's latest album November's Chopin. It's been rocking my mind for this past few days. And for those who can't read chinese chars, i'll post a han yu ping yin version soon. (pls note. u can try going to "View" -> "Encoding" -> "More" -> Select "Unicode") it might work. =)

Haiz. Am in school now doing practical. HTML related again. sadded. this time round everything has to be done in NOTEPAD. can u believe it? im jus pure lousy in this. darn. well. going to see marmie later on~ weeeex. can collect pay also leh. wahaha. this month is an expensive month for me. got so much things to buy leh. jialat le la. =[
k la. gtg le. teacher ending class at 5. 9 mins to dismissal. woohoO~. marmie here i come~!!!!! =P

lost ;
4:44 PM

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an unusual me.

been out this few days. been hurt this few days. nothing jus seems to go my way. perhaps the only consolation was that liverpool won 2-0 last nite? yeah. im a die hard pool fan. but i din get to watch the game last nite as i was out at marina celebrating xinru's bday with my frens. was kinda down but met my long time buddy shida and we caught up with each other with "interesting" stories. haha.
as for today. nothing much but my usual borin borin sunday. went out at 9.45am for soccer again. but this time round, im unlucky? or issit heaven asking me not to play? well. did sprained my back a couple of weeks ago and the pain is still there occasionally. issit becos im old? or issit becos i haf a weak spine? like wad missy elaine says. =X well well. in any case, i felt the effects today as i was running on the court and towards the last 15mins or so, i left the court becos my back clearly needs some rest. b4 that, when my fren was clearing a ball, i turned back and so unfortunately, the ball hit the back of my head. immediately became mabok and now though im sitting in my room bloggin, i still feel the effects. darn. i think i needa rest. but am meeting frens later on.
mayb its time for maple or we8i now. nth much to do and cant rest well either.
am missin her so much.
im off. blog again.
ciaoz

lost ;
3:26 PM

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borin borin SIMP

omg.. borin borin SIMP. simulation and physics. am in lab T2024 now using comp to surf net. though the lecturer says that it's not a dry topic, but the 1st lesson is always very dry. becos he has to take us into the module. i hope that we can jus go str in to practical lessons now becos im so bored. physics - a subject i hated during sec sch times and now i have to face it yet again. -.-
am working later on. will be having lunch in SP b4 going towards bg to settle down. den my darling(kenneth) will be working tea lunch and i'll head to bugis all on my own most prob. had agreed on going to bugis together but he last min got to work tea lunch? sadded. im all alone yet again from 2 - 6. am starting work at 6pm. am hoping tonite wun have too much ppl becos fri nites. SCARY. =/
well well. am so boring that i feel like writing compo here but i guess there's nothing much for me to write down. ciaoz

lost ;
10:29 AM

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as i expected

ha! as i had expected, its a real boring day in sch. went early to sch for PFP but that module was damn bloody boring. that teacher is so bloody strict but kept on emphasizing abt attendance as if she was some great god. damn her man. and someone told me she's chio? pui lor. i nearly vomit. slept in all my lessons. and pon the last lesson which is dora's lesson. din mean to either. but was feeling unwell and i had to work at nite. nevertheless i went to work. cos i wanna earn more money and i felt like vomitting midway thru my work. lucky jasper ask me to drink water and i did. if not i think i'd surely vomit de.
well well, ciggy updates. today had 5 sticks. an improvement oh ! =X haha. am trying to cut down on it and as i dun feel well, i din really smoke alot today. way to go baby. lolx.
going back to BG tml as i heard dawn is starting work. she's kinda chio according to alan. so im gonna go haf a look. and btw, i haven see claudia b4 lo. so sad. but for now, im kinda tired and i think im gonna collapse. feeling so weak. so well, im gonna ciao. niteS babies~

lost ;
2:08 AM

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BRINGmeBACKtoLIFE.
kahlun
petir rd
singapore poly
29aug1987
kahlun_87@hotmail.com
alunso
babyCar
half liverpudlian
blue ginger


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