memories within.
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October 2005
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September 2006
Thursday, November 17, 2005
i've woke up
2 days ago, it wasnt a nite for me. i popped pills and ended up camping in the toilet for 1 1/2 hr. stupid me. yea. i know. i've finally woke up. fuck this shit. why am i doing all this shit for someone who doesnt give a fuck to me and leaves me for dead. all she care is other guys and not me. and wad the hell am i doing here popping pills and crying my heart out? and she might be enjoying herself at that particular moment with another guy. reasons given for not meeting me is jus as crap as rubbish in the rubbish dump. im stupid. for harbouring hopes of seeing her again. it jus crashes. right in front of me. it's over. i shld be starting a new chap in my life. in fact i've found the topic of my new chapter but the thing is, i've not got an ending for my previous chap. perhaps to her, it's an ending. but to me, it nv was. but mayb it's wishful thinking of my part. regrets linger around me. the pain i inflicted to myself. brought me nth but scars. waking up every morning seems to be a torture to me. but i knew i had to go on.
yest seem to be better for me. it seems as though im really starting a new chap. met a ger - jiawen - in my gems class. strangely, its the 1st time i actually communicated so well with a student i dunno at all. not to mention, a ger. its jus so naturally that we had topics to talk about and yea, im kinda shock about it myself too. but nevertheless, it was really nice to talk to her for the whole gems class becos we were supposed to be debating? crap. i hate to debate it formally. becos the best way would be to debate it my way. using vulgarities. =X
as for today. nth much but boring classes. aint got mood to study anyway. jus following blindly. tml working dinner. guess it'll be a busy day. am bracing myself for the challenge. haha. crap la.
kahlun kahlun. wake up wake up. time for ciggy. =X
blog again. ciaoz
lost ;
12:00 PM
