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Saturday, November 12, 2005
when things turn awry ; i shld disappear
yest was my sis bday. celebrated with her and asked some of my frens over for a mini party. had great fun and decided to go KTV after that. the whole grp of us ( me, ken, hy, sL, wendy, jean ) met elaine at orchard's partyworld. sang pretty happily though i must say all jay's songs make me kinda no mood. becos i use to sing jay's songs to her. memories jus run thru my mind again and again. made me smoke 12 ciggs or less? ard there. a record nth to be proud of.
den comes the part where the whole grp stays till 6am when smth happened. i even walk in the rain and ended up shivering like F***. im jus nth but trouble? i dunno why. sometimes i feel that im jus at the wrong place at the wrong time. reached home at ard 7am. still shivering after my shower and jus stone at my bed.
after all that happened to me recently, i feel i shld jus disappear from everyone's sights. nothing much to stay for. how gd it'd be if in the past, i had the courage to jus end everything. i did try but i failed. becos of her, i always ended my thoughts. when im with her, she often make me feel worthless. but even now with my frens, i feel so too. i dunno why. am i really that worthless? i dunno. hate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. how much i hope i'd be in the right place at the right time. this jus sucks. hate this feeling, hate my life, hate myself. wad else do i haf to say?
nvm abt the unhappy things. going off any min to suntec. to celebrate jj's bday. another occasion to be happy. hope i wun be at the wrong place at the wrong time again. becos this is the last thing i'd ever wanted. blog again.
-off to suntec-
lost ;
4:02 PM
