memories within.
;
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
feel so out. so alone. so pain. so hurt.
alone. pain. hurt. sad.
why does the pain keep coming when i wanna slp. why do i insist on seeing her when i myself cant even get out of the hse. why do i feel like im no longer me.
because the ans is simple. i love her. till i lost myself. nvm abt the chest pain that im suffering. its her that i wanna see. wanna be with. naive thinking. i despise myself. i look down on myself. i HATE myself. so much so that i feel like disappearing from here.
her attitude towards me changed. i dunno wad caused it. maybe i do know. or maybe i dont at all. or maybe im jus sensitive.
predicting its gonna be busy during FYP period. am considering to do a check up on my body condition. it seems that its getting worse day by day. but everything's got to be done alone. called elaine up jus now to check abt pricing and all. she offered to go with me. but i was so much hoping that u'd be the one going with me. nvm abt that.
i jus feel so alone without u. so hurt by ur words. ur attitude. so pain by the chest. and so sad that everything mentioned is happening to me.
wondering if its a gd thing to let u know all that happened. or better not. becos i dun wan u to think that im seeking ur attention. thats one thing i nv wan it to happen.
think i'll try and get some slp. tml's working lunch shift. hope i wun black out like i nearly did in the train this morning.
lost ;
1:00 AM
