memories within.
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October 2005
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January 2006
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March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
so many things. so many faults. one person
so many things happened. so many faults happening around. but there's only one person to everything. me. everything's my fault.
not a man. not even a kid. even the thing that really motivates me now, cant even motivate me anymore. things seem to be pointless. everything.
so looking forward to TP. but no longer now. so looking forward to bringing home the cat to raise, but no longer now. so looking forward to our next movie date. but no longer now. im so so so bothered by the comments "im not a man"
nobody knows how much im bothered by those words. nobody knows how much pressure i can giv myself even if its because of trivial matters. yes i am stupid. no point putting pressure on myself jus because of trivial matters. but if i don, is that still kahlun? thats because im like that. many think that things can be better. i hoped. and i tried. but thats me.
i over react because i care. if someone who really knows me, shld know that i dun even bother with things that i dun care. but its because i care, that i tend to over react. my fault for over reacting. but thats jus me. a leopard cant change its spot. why cant ppl think that im jus like that and encourage me instead of jus pointing out " ure over reacting "
they get all the encouragement, i got all the blame. no matter how hard i try to stand up after a fall, i end up falling. falling is nth new to me anyway. but jus like how some students get tired of studying everyday, i get tired of falling always. but i know, even with a clutch, i cant guarantee that i wun fall. im jus so so so tired of falling that i wanna jus sit down and dun get up again. but i know i haf to stand up.
ive always wanted to do something i really want. but everything seems pointless now. the belief in me is gone jus because of a simple comment by some ppl. confidence is low.
u know how much i nid u now?
im tired.
lost ;
1:26 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
120th post
nv wanted to be like a kid. know im one to u. but sometimes i jus had to be one because i dun wan my own 'self centered' thinking to cause us to get into a quarrel. rather be treated like a kid by u den quarrelling with u with my thoughts. know im self centered sometimes. thats why i often talk to u after i thought things thru.
yest posted this entry but wasnt successful. so kinda repeat myself in this post and so i blog about today as well bah.
reached bugis at 12pm. slacked there for like an hour b4 meeting up with proj mates. dun ask me why i slack there for an hour. the thought of it, gets my blood boiling. den went for meeting with external client. den joel called to ask me replace him. last min replacement and i thought why not? since i can hur hur. wahaha. shall not tell u wad's that.
hmm. gonna end this entry for now. blog another time. bb
lost ;
11:07 PM
fuck this shit.
having gastric today ever since i steppd into my lab. in fact, i had to partially "crawl" home. had to jus roll myself up to slp. so much inside that i cant say. hate this man. shldnt have made this blog to others. project presentation, work. screwed. both screwed.
lost ;
4:27 PM
Thursday, June 08, 2006
back again.
woot. back to blogging again. its been some time since i blogged. things happen everyday and i'd be as good as writing a diary if i were to mention everything.
anyway. went for outside cathering today. was at suntec tower 1's office. lvl 31. -.- cant imagine i am so freak out by the word lvl 31. wonder how i'd feel on aug 15th. my cousin's getting married on that day and i heard the wedding will be held at swissotel's lvl 71st restaurant. my god.
hmm. went to new harbour jus now. got to know linda. haha. alan got to know her when he shared a table for dinner with her. she's from hong kong. and she's attractive!! ok lar. not my age de so we din say much to each other. jus sitting by the other side with hongyu and joel. seems like both of them get along sometimes. thats a good thing. rather than see both of them quarrel. -.-"!
gonna have a drink with joel later. he's not in a good mood today. at least not as bad as when he's on his way back to bg with me. haha. time to get ice cubes ready.
ciao.
lost ;
1:20 AM
