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October 2005
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Sunday, June 25, 2006
so many things. so many faults. one person
so many things happened. so many faults happening around. but there's only one person to everything. me. everything's my fault.
not a man. not even a kid. even the thing that really motivates me now, cant even motivate me anymore. things seem to be pointless. everything.
so looking forward to TP. but no longer now. so looking forward to bringing home the cat to raise, but no longer now. so looking forward to our next movie date. but no longer now. im so so so bothered by the comments "im not a man"
nobody knows how much im bothered by those words. nobody knows how much pressure i can giv myself even if its because of trivial matters. yes i am stupid. no point putting pressure on myself jus because of trivial matters. but if i don, is that still kahlun? thats because im like that. many think that things can be better. i hoped. and i tried. but thats me.
i over react because i care. if someone who really knows me, shld know that i dun even bother with things that i dun care. but its because i care, that i tend to over react. my fault for over reacting. but thats jus me. a leopard cant change its spot. why cant ppl think that im jus like that and encourage me instead of jus pointing out " ure over reacting "
they get all the encouragement, i got all the blame. no matter how hard i try to stand up after a fall, i end up falling. falling is nth new to me anyway. but jus like how some students get tired of studying everyday, i get tired of falling always. but i know, even with a clutch, i cant guarantee that i wun fall. im jus so so so tired of falling that i wanna jus sit down and dun get up again. but i know i haf to stand up.
ive always wanted to do something i really want. but everything seems pointless now. the belief in me is gone jus because of a simple comment by some ppl. confidence is low.
u know how much i nid u now?
im tired.
lost ;
1:26 PM
